Ok. So I have been gone a while again. Things got pretty hairy here and its a long, long story. Maybe go make yourself a cup of tea first.
Got your tea?
Ok. So. Life got mental. Mr. Fairweather’s job has been rough going what with the fractured rib and all. And then the appendicitis. Oh and did I mentioned that he was accused wrongly of something. A bit of a stitch up from what I can make out. He was cleared of wrong doing after a long drawn out investigation, thank God. But the whole thing was a nightmare.
And I am worn out.
Worn out worrying what way the investigation would go and if he was ever going to work again.
Worn out worrying whether his college fees were going to turn out to have been flushed down the toilet because he was going have to get a job cleaning toilets or stacking shelves. Not that there’s anything wrong with those jobs, but it would have sucked the life out of my husband’s soul.
Worn out trying to help him not sink into a pit of despair and depression again (he had a bad bullying case at a previous job and came as close as I ever wish to see another human being to a mental breakdown)
Worn out watching him for signs of a nervous breakdown because of the pressure and stress.
Worn out trying to look after a toddler, put food on the table, keep a house running, finish moving in to said house, work to get money coming in while he was off and hold everyone together.
Worn out. Dog tired. And stretched paper thin.
I nearly cracked. I could feel myself slipping. I could feel the tunnel vision kicking in – just get this job done, just get that done, don’t think about the others, maybe I’ll just stick my head in the sand about that problem.
My cousin was fantastic. I remember her saying though that I needed to look after myself, because if I cracked, who would look after my little family while this was all going on?
My mom was great. She helped. She said someone has to mind the minder.
There was light at the end of the tunnel. It turned out not to be a train coming in the opposite direction. Mr. Fairweather has been cleared and is thankfully out of that toxic work environment. He has another job. Providence provides. It is only part-time, back working with young adults. But he loves it and has gotten a few extra hours doing tutoring work with them. So all in, it’s four days a week and he’s going to use the other day or two to work on his woodworking projects to try and sell them. I think he is gifted but then I am biased. Also some of his stuff is on Instagram also under the same thewoodenboathouse if you want a sneaky look.
Sometimes I think we just go, go, go and our body keeps going because we don’t give it a chance to think otherwise and stop. Then when you do stop, your body seems to realise that it doesn’t have to do all of this all of the time. And crashes. Everything came in on top of me a couple of weeks ago. I nearly cracked. Mr. Fairweather has been great. I have been living in my garden and am feeling much better. It’s a long road to a good head space but we are on it together. I am looking forward to getting back blogging and telling you all that has been going on in the garden here. As usual there are great plans afoot.
- Tomatoes definitely need planting out.
- As do the strawberries.
- I am currently expanding my Great Spud Experiment to include sweet potatoes.
- Need to get them in the ground.
- Generally a lot of planting out.
- And weeding.
- And beekeeping.
- And duck farming.
But more importantly –
- Taking time to myself – some days its ok to shut the door on the world.
- Eating cake and hanging out with friend and family.
- Stopping to smell the flowers.
- Wasting time doing nothing – a hugely undervalued skill I find.